Escapades Of A Rebellious Conformist

 It just occured to me, um nobody (save 1 or 2 in my friends list) update LJ regularly anymore

Me included

Awww.. LJ's over now isn't it?

We've all moved on to facebook and twitter and whatnot, and they'll soon be going from A-list to C-list like Myspace or Friendster

That's life and we're all guilty of it but I have very very fond memories of when this was THE hotspot, to get everything off your chest (and in my own personal story meet the love of my life and marry him)

I've met some wonderful people here, granted most are Filipino (the English don't really vent via the written word they just tend to moan a lot)

Most of whom I'm still very much in touch with either internetedly or otherwise.  I've thoroughly enjoyed reading all your posts, Pinoys tend to command the English language in such a way that they can make every word shine brighter, mainly due to using correct grammar (we NEVER got taught grammar in school.. I never thought it was uncommon 'til people with English as a second language seemed to write better)  Not slamming my fellow Brits.. we have some great writers, I'm not one of them.. I mean I write as I speak but thats the point of a journal, people told me they imagine me speaking what I say cos its exactly how I would, so its less like reading.. I take it as a compliment.

So this isnt goodbye LJ, I will still update the odd time, you're still on my bookmarks, don't fret.

But yeah, no one was saying it so with a heavy heart...

LJ.. YOU ARE SO OVER.

Miss ya xoxo

 HOW TO CREATE YOUR ALBUM COVER

1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album. (make sure you hit the new random quotations button at the bottom)

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together (http://www.picnik.com/) works well, online.

5 - Post it with this text in the "caption" and TAG the friends you want to join in.

Will you miss me when I'm gone?
Transcending existence only to leave you
alone, as I will lie alone
purging happiness from an unclean soul
weathered by shattered glass
and penance.
Wading the waters of Mnemosyne,
my soul cascades,
perturbed by anasthesia
from which I bleed unnoticed
wallflowered
in my own reflection
leaving only desolation singed
inside a silver tinder box.
sight deceased, effervescence cannot blind
eclipses
of solitude
and infrequent shades of grey,
trepidation will succumb to my dispair
preparing for ecdysis
remember me..

 I'm not sure whether to put normal things in the list cos I'm too random.  Ah well.

1.  I pee in sinks.  Seriously if I've been to your house, I have definitely peed in your sink, some kind of urinal thing I developed about 7 yrs ago, but fear not I always rinse and never do a doody.

2.  I used to be quiet, I really did, it was between years 2 and 3 of primary school (ages 10-11) I realised I was funny and quirky, and I became comfortable in myself knowing that - that was my thing - the random guy.

3.  I lie compulsively about little insignificant things in order to build my life up to be a little bit more glam than what it really is.  i.e I can speak fluent spanish - no I cant, my spanish is B-grade at best but still, with my dad half spanish I felt I SHOULD be able to, so I stuck to it.

4.  I still even now imagine I have super powers - subtle things like flicking my finger and making a quiet woosh noise and in my mind I've actually made a car explode.

5.  I am a bit of a precog, I have a horrible habit of saying things on a whim only for them to happen several days/hours later.  I remember when I didnt want to go out with my friend, so I made up a lie that my dad was in hospital because he hurt his hand.  2 weeks later, dad DID have an accident, and lost 2 fingers and half a thumb, he spent 7 months in a hospital bed .. and yeah I still kinda feel like I'm to blame.

6.  Me and dwyn play several games together, ones relationship isnt fulfilled unless you play "Don't tickle the dead", "Its MY noo-noo" and the infamous "Come under the covers, I'm cold."

7.  I have a humongous Tina Turner obsession that is the worst kept secret.  4 yrs ago every single toast I've made since then has always been first and foremost, to Tina. 

8.  I did have an alter ego.  Back in the day me and my mates would dress up in drag and become "SlutStarS" consisting of Miffy, Brenda and myself (Rhonda), this was back when I was "straight" and my only gay outlet, weirdly enough those who knew Rhonda were shocked to hear I was Gay.  Since I came Out Rhonda's only seen the light of day like 2wice on super special occasions, I figure once I came out I didnt need her anymopre so I tell people she's in a diabetic coma until I get my own show.  Out of Rhonda came several spin off characters : Ricki the rock chick, Milandra the dungeon mistress, Cherry (as in "pop the") the 80's good girl (based on Kylie minogue and Olivia newton john), Janessa - the 80's bad girl (based on Madonna and Cher).  Maybe one day you can meet them

Moved into our flat sunday - Good Times

Had to trek 5 car trips and then unpack - Bad Times

Love the place and its situation - Good Times

Have a bastard cold/cough - Bad Times

Get an easier bus route - Good Times

Working 1-9pm - Bad Times

Finally have a house with the hubby - Priceless!

There are some things that fuck us about, for everything else there's Mastercard, failing that a flaming homosexual husband isn't a far cry away

:p

Ok.  ATTENTION, all those who have large knowledge of 80's music, and or who are Filipino.

HELP ME.

So, I was watching Philippine Idol (I know its old old new now) and noticed the played a song for the womens semi finals and the final 12 (usually the results show) where they sang a sort-orf 80's rock song titled quote, unquote "Larger Than Life"

Here, have a tube.


I loved the song (plus the complete cheese that came with it i.e dance stances and subtle bitch vocal competitiveness) but the song has practically fallen off the face of the earth.

I cannot find it anywhere, nobody in youtube knows who sings it, the lyrics wont show up on search engines, and the official website havent even named the song : 

the girls sang a lively and engaging production number to the tune of “Tonight... tonight’s gonna be like no other night...”

FRUSTRATION!
Both me and Aldwyn have been struck down by musical deities refusing to share info, and I've always found the song eventully but this one rocks my world its as if it doesnt exist except on this show, I wondered if maybe it was sang by a pinoy group hence nobody knowing it over here.. but it was used at least twice on the show so it must be a memorable song right?

OMG this so sonds like a missing person ad - please help us find song, answers to the name of Larger than life,  description - hari metal synth type song very catchy and camp lyrics.

Anyone have a clue?

    Yes Yes I know I was having my hair short and brown only .. I didnt.

Well its certainly much shorter but my fab Norwegian Stylist Celia did nothing but praise how beautiful my hair was, how well layered it was and how all the blondes give a great effect, she told me short hair isnt for me, and this look suits me the best (as I was told numerous times by other stylists) she seemed really REALLY good at making me feel fab and that everything I've done with my hair so far was the right thing to do, after explaining my skin is too fair for a dark colour I decided to stay blonde.. I finally feel convinced I am and will always be a blondie!

So.. I havent had any proper pics taken since November and my hair was past shoulder length, so you guys probably wont notice the difference like I do, but here y'are piccies!!!




Draco Malfoy eat your heart out! Lol!

And for those of you who notice .. yes I took photos in the bog! I am class without a doubt.

Wha-cha fink?

I'm seeing Kylie tomorro, but I've got a massive mancunian venture for it (3 hours) and I have work the next day.. the good thing is my folks have yet again decided 6 weeks is far to long to spend home in the UK and are once again off to india (Goa) for 3 weeks, then Greece for my fathers 50th in June and Mexico in September.. I hope to one day enjoy their jetsetting lifestyle without financial worries.. I mean they've paid off their mortgage so i basically have a house waiting for me god forbid my parents should bite the bullet, but It astounds me how different our worlds are.  People assume because my folks are "healthy" financially and by no means rich, that I myself am loaded.. HA!  I wish, I learned the value of money at a very early age, just as my parents did, its made me never to ask my parents for money and my parents dont particularly like it, well when it suits them.  When they offer as a treat or to buy things I cant afford (rarely such a generous offer occurs) I always decline because in some sick way I dont want my parents to have a hold on me financially, so if anything goes wrong in my life I dont owe them anything and all the responsibility lands on me, I want to be independant which as proud as they are of me, they take it bitterly at times because they want a little bit of control left over my life, and they;re not getting it hehe.  Now they;re looking for a Holiday home in Cyprus, and already planning my Mums 50th to be in Sri Lanka or Thailand as opposed to the usual Cuba, Brazil or Dominican republic.  All places I've never been to but would love to go, yet I see the photos are nothing but a holiday spent on the beach soaking up rays which you can do tons of places.. seems like a waste and ignorance of culture. 

I've never been lucky enough to go anywhere out of Europe save China once.  I envy my parents for a different life lived than mine, where you can extend the house or garden, buy a hot tub, 42" plasma TV or a sports car.  I am very lucky to be financially secure, but I am a world away from their lifestyle, I hope one day I'll share it and make better use of it, my parents deserve it as they work very hard but I know I'll use it wisely.  I remember when I first came to Bristol and stayed at Dwyns the first few times I helped out in the kitchen or washed up Papa Fernandez would say "You are not used to this?" and I wouldn't be able to comprehend as of course I'm used to housework not knowing he had staff do it when younger "Time to take the silver spoon out of your mouth eh?" he joked.  I was dumbfounded lol, he suspected I even had my own Horse and I would be some kind of "Senorito" I was a little offended but I understand the differences between class and status here than of the Phils, Dwyns folks told me if they moved to the Phils they'd be like Super Rich Status.  I shook my head hoping he'd never tell my folks that, they're uncomfortable having their own chauffeur in India let alone a house staff etc. 

My parents are grounded and careful with their money..  But jesus I get jealous sometimes hehe.  In the months to come it was reassuring to here Papa tell me "You're not at all how I thought someone like you should be" and that made me glad.  Glad that no matter how I'm percieved in UK terms I'm not even High Class.. middle if anything.  But to Papa F, I was heir to the moolah, something that made us both learn a lesson that not everything is as it seems, we learned cultural values form each other that has striven to ensure all of us keep a healthy and more importantly happy family existence.  Nowadays I'm told "Daz your turn to do the dishes, we cooked."   And Dwyn and I get to work, just like its become a normality, my shit stinks like everyone elses and thats how I prefer it.  Dwyns never seen me anything more than all I am, I think thats why I'm so lucky, just to have at least one person know who you are without false pretences or stereotypical first impressions, and for that I'm very grateful.

I'm ill, post sympathy comments and well wishes here.

If you don't, I'm likely to hunt and kill you, then kill myself and frame your closest relative for my death and yours.

Cheers!

These are metaphors from actual GCSE essays (For non-brits they are our High School "graduation" exams we take at 16 once compulsory education ends) What I love about them is not only are they odd, but some of them are blatantly obvious and so so stupid, really mindnumbingly so but I cant help but laugh, if this is the future we are soooo screwed.



I personally love the last one, as we so often staple our tongues to the wall.. what a stupid stupid person.

Had my consultation but my op was put back to October 4th Goddamit!!

However, I'm sure I'll find something else to look forward to in the next few days *ho-hum* ;-)

I'd be lying if I said I wasnt nervous about tomorrow, I mean this surgery I'm going to undergo will change my life.

I am glad I'm having it, its one of the only parts of my body I'm not too happy with, but even though the chance of something going wrong is slim...

Anyways after recovery I should look a lot different than how I use to look. 

I'm excited, and hope the pain is minimal :-S

Its gonna be worth it :) Ciao!

Hello.

Ok so, right, um Hiya!  I've developed a penchant (throughout my whole life) to being shallow a cause de mon visual needs.  What I mean is when I watch movies, I like it simple, funny and low on serious drama.  I love deep serious films, and y'know I will watch them for what they are about.  Other than that I just do not feel serious films entertain me in the way I like to be entertained, I'm low on emo high in fun and its a ditzy way to live.  Ok I didnt see Amistad or 9/11 or bloody Munich.  I find those films emotionally draining and leave me feeling depressed, I choose not to watch them, though I respect and pay attention to its themes, I'm not repressing them nor ignoring them, I know what happened, I just dont want the drama as entertainment.

So, I've been downloading movies because I am very bored when not working.  I thought I'd share a few of my latest discoveries as well as a few classics I hold to my heart lol.  I am a slow mover, some films I've never watched just because I've not been in the mood despite the rest of the world watching them, so none of you gimme that "Its ancient and we're all over it" attitude lest you die by my hands and pissed on.

(Not by me, I'll get some homeless person to pee on you.  I'll pay him, thereby righting wrongs and triumphing over evil..

..and that means you)

Lets start shall we?

so I was walking down the street and saw a piece of lint on the floor so I bent down to pick it up and th..

Oh who am I kidding!

I HAVE TICKETS TO SEE KYLIE!! I HAVE TICKETS TO SEE KYLIE!! I HAVE TICKETS TO SEE KYLIE!! I HAVE TICKETS TO SEE KYLIE!! I HAVE TICKETS TO SEE KYLIE!!I HAVE TICKETS TO SEE KYLIE!! I HAVE TICKETS TO SEE KYLIE!! I HAVE TICKETS TO SEE KYLIE!!

..in January :D WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I'm so gay.

If I never knew you
If I never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be

And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me

In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes

So dry your eyes

And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

If I never knew you
I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true

I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we made the whole world bright
I thought our love would be so beautiful
We'd turn the darkness into light

I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night

But still my heart is singing
We were right

There's no moment I regret
Since the moment that we met
If our time has gone too fast


I've lived at last

And If I never knew you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Empty as the sky,
Never knowing why

Lost forever..

..If I never knew you

A year ago today my heart set out on a journey, one that began curious and unexpecting, 
I can conlude that my hearts journey led me down the right path.

To you Aldwyn Fernandez.

Maraming salamat, aking sinta, iniibig kita.  I'm the luckiest man alive with you at my side, 

Higugmaon ko ikaw sa kanunay, hangtud sa hangtud.

Happy Anniversary Baby <3 xXx

Cherysh and Ebnay strolled along the white beach of BlancaPlaya, Cherysh brushed her hand against her fellow friend looking into Ebnays eyes for a brief glint of attraction.  This was to no avail, shuffled her feet in the sand to make a foundation, it was "her spot" and she wasn't walking any more.  It took Ebnay a while to notice Cherysh was sitting, Ebnay was lost in her thoughts, shy , quiet and timid - the way Cherysh liked her women.  Turning around embarrassed as she began to talk to Cherysh, realising she wasn't there, proceeded back to where her friend lay.  Cherysh lay with her eyes shut, hands running between her legs slowly stroking the fabric of her Red satin dress.  Cherysh was a dream, a blonde goddess with subtle pink lips and long hair that kinked and curled all the way down to her waist, she was young and pretty, any other 24yr old would envy to be her.  But not Ebnay, she just listened to her when a new girl was nailed, when Cherysh couldnt get the right colour handbag, or the correct breed of dog to fit in it.  Sure, Ebnay knew Cherysh was a typical blonde in every fashion, but she'd also seen a softer side to her.  As Cherysh body trembled as the sunset breese cast upon her thin dress Ebnay caught a glimpse of Cherysh's breasts, her nipples appeared like little chocolate kisses.

Ebnay caught her breath and Cherysh opened her eyes, she sweetly smiled at her friend but said nothing, as much as Cherysh was the "dykebike" the one woman she couldnt have was who she loved the most.  Ebnay had no experience with women, she was very open minded and had a handful of boyfriends, her mocha skin and chocolate brown eyes tempted many a man, but Ebnay wanted love, not "fucking" and although she had loved the last boyfriend, she once again drove him away with her patience to "wait" for the right moment to make love.  Cherysh loved they were often mistook for a couple but hid her feelings from Ebnay in an array of double entendres and a long list of ladies who wanted nothing more than to caress those "chocolate kisses" of hers.  This evening was different, dusk had always made an effect on Ebnay, she felt it was a soothing moment, when the sun went down and all was quiet, the sky turns a peaceful Indigo waiting for the moons reflection to surf upon those tiny waves as they tickled at her feet.  Ebnay couldn't find words to describe how she felt, he stomach began to jump and her eyes widened, her lips dried and suddenly swallowing was a feat in itself.  Cherysh was beautiful, but Ebnay had the inner beauty and calming soul that would make these two women "destined for companionship". 

Ebnay kneeled down in the sand, putting her hand gently on Cherysh's ankle, stroking further up her leg and clutching her top with her other hand, the sweat glistened between her cleavage as Ebnays animalistic desire was to tear off her friends dress.  Cherysh made no opposing gestures as Ebnays hand went up further and touched her own hand that was making soft circles around her increasingly moist clit, her hand guided Ebnays who uttered a small sigh as she played with Cherysh, her body temperature rising, heart bursting out of her chest.. she delicately parted Cherysh's V line of her dress to expose her ripe breast.  Cherysh let out a satisfying moan as Ebnay licked the peak of the mountain, her chance finally came to taste that chocolate kiss.  Seeing her dream come true Cherysh cupped her hand around Ebnays own breast, it was firm and untouched, almost as if she was virgin flesh, she tilted her friends chin upwards to catch the spark in her eyes, and the spark was there, Ebnay was still the shy girl she always was, her eyes asked Cherysh's permission to go further, and as she leaned in closer to her friend, their lips gently touched one anothers, with minimum pressure.  As if it came naturally Ebnay slipped her tongue inside her friends mouth to both of their suprise, and Cherysh hesitated for a moment, knowing that things were not going to be as they were from this moment on.  Cherysh closed her eyes and let her dusky beauty give her the chocolate kiss that <i>she</i> always longed for..

Ok I so just wrote that spur of the moment, a teaser to a book of erotic love stories I plan to write hahaha what ya think?

So as of last post I left my job thursday to persue "new job of lifetime"

BOLLOCKS

Friday I return home from "new" work kinda confused, it seems I'm self employed, It seems my colleagues might possibly have been stepford children, it seems

that the company I went to work for are cheating me out of money for long hours and take all the benefits, after research later that night on the company (as viewed by the people not their organisation websites) I find out its possibly the most deceitful shitty company to work for where you are a pawn !

I shall never work for marketing, ever.

So Saturday morning, I go back to my old job re-telling people "no I havent left" and eating humble pie after learning a hard but valuble lesson about work ethics.  I appreciated the job much more ( I was able to withdraw my resignation in time to keep all my benefits i.e staff discount and shares) so I think I'm back to square one when I get the offer to be trained in a management scheme.  My boss fully endorses to train me to become a team leader then section manager, the hours are better and I know the people.  I said yes because I'd be earning more than I would at THAT company, still pissed I fell for their indoctination tactics.

So I do in a way have a new job, I'm progressing in my previous job and that suits me fine.

Throughout this time I've had a great chance to get things off my chest, I feel lighter better and though yesterday it seemed like the shit hit the fan big style, I have picked myself up and am better off in my position now.

Things happen for a reason, God just has to be a bitch about it sometimes.

Too many fucking times for my liking but what can ya do..

You fight, and have faith. Thats what you do.

Went to london.

Had a fantastic time.

Got a job in Cardiff.. for progressive Global training (marketing, advertisement and management training company)  beat 35 applicants some of which had marketing and mathematics degrees.  I had nothing. HA! I am so fabulous.

Lesson Learned - Personality and determination mean more than a qualification sometimes.

And if you're potential colleagues like gay guys, play that card all the way to Mardis Gras ;)

Today is my birthday.

I am 21!

I shall endeavour to STAY 21 for-evarr!

Comment and greet me (or face the dire consequences)

Just a request not a dictation.

this request must be obeyed or I shall rape and pillage your village.  Hur hur, pillage the village, I rhymed.

seriously, I want a fucking message. XD